C-Day

12/25/2016

It’s here. The day for which I thought I was prepared.

Now that I’m living in this moment, I’m kind of hoping the end is near.

Ok I bought some gifts and baked a cake; even wore my brand-new Santa hat.

I made up an e-card and sent out some texts, must I really give more effort than that?

Maybe if the weather was a little bit cooler, then I may get more into the spirit,

Look, I know I live on a tropical island but eighty degrees in December is a bit ridic.

Too much family time, too many hugs. I’ll suck it up, but this food better be worth it.

I long to be locked away in silence, with a bottle of Jack Honey. Now that, is my idea be perfect.

Maybe next year I’ll be able to hide my Grinch side a little bit better. Make a mental effort to get closer to the norm.

Who am I kidding? Next year I hope to be on a December vacay, where no one can judge my tequila breakfast on Christmas morn.

Bah humbug

Bah humbug

12/24/2015

It’s that time of year again that’s filled with great cheer,

When great food is all you see and obnoxious jingles are all you hear.

There’s festive lights on every house and a sale in every store,

Instead of getting in the spirit, I’d rather hide until this month is no more.

It’s been plaguing me since September, the email blasts and ads on TV,

I knew the holidays were approaching but forgot how quickly time could creep up on me.

Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes……

Dude, I live in the Bahamas so there’s no snowflakes on my nose or my eyelashes.

Ho ho ho, deck the halls, give me another glass of eggnog and I swear I’ll vomit.

Sir, unless your Santa hat is filled with Amazon gift cards and Patron, then guess what? B***h I don’t want it!

I’m in a particularly crummy mood this year, no gifts will be bought and my family already knows,

I don’t want to go shopping nor do I want your presents just leave my food on the table and go.

It’s not that I want to be a Grinch this year, personal issues just have me feeling a bit off.

Pardon me for not wearing red and I don’t want a holiday sweater. Who cares if cashmere and super soft?

I’ve never been so excited for the New Year, I may have to remain inebriated until then.

It’s my only survival tactic to make it through this season, cheap wine with my paper and pen.