It’s that time of year again that’s filled with great cheer,
When great food is all you see and obnoxious jingles are all you hear.
There’s festive lights on every house and a sale in every store,
Instead of getting in the spirit, I’d rather hide until this month is no more.
It’s been plaguing me since September, the email blasts and ads on TV,
I knew the holidays were approaching but forgot how quickly time could creep up on me.
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes……
Dude, I live in the Bahamas so there’s no snowflakes on my nose or my eyelashes.
Ho ho ho, deck the halls, give me another glass of eggnog and I swear I’ll vomit.
Sir, unless your Santa hat is filled with Amazon gift cards and Patron, then guess what? B***h I don’t want it!
I’m in a particularly crummy mood this year, no gifts will be bought and my family already knows,
I don’t want to go shopping nor do I want your presents just leave my food on the table and go.
It’s not that I want to be a Grinch this year, personal issues just have me feeling a bit off.
Pardon me for not wearing red and I don’t want a holiday sweater. Who cares if cashmere and super soft?
I’ve never been so excited for the New Year, I may have to remain inebriated until then.
It’s my only survival tactic to make it through this season, cheap wine with my paper and pen.