C-Day

C-Day

12/25/2016 

It’s here. The day for which I thought I was prepared.

Now that I’m living in this moment, I’m kind of hoping the end is near.

Ok I bought some gifts and baked a cake; even wore my brand-new Santa hat.

I made up an e-card and sent out some texts, must I really give more effort than that?

Maybe if the weather was a little bit cooler, then I may get more into the spirit,

Look, I know I live on a tropical island but eighty degrees in December is a bit ridic.

Too much family time, too many hugs. I’ll suck it up, but this food better be worth it.

I long to be locked away in silence, with a bottle of Jack Honey. Now that, is my idea be perfect.

Maybe next year I’ll be able to hide my Grinch side a little bit better. Make a mental effort to get closer to the norm.

Who am I kidding? Next year I hope to be on a December vacay, where no one can judge my tequila breakfast on Christmas morn.

The purpose

July 4th 2016

 

To be seen and don’t heard, needlepoint and sewing, scarf knitting and other crap girls should do,

Bouncy hair with bows, a freshly powdered nose and the most adorable giggle on cue.

Cooking and cleaning are an absolute must! Don’t even bother to meet the parents if you can’t.

He says that you’re perfect, tells his mom you’re totally worth it, meanwhile this heifer doesn’t like you before you even shake hands.

Sex on demand! Don’t even bother to Netflix and chill. Don’t you know that pleasing man is one of your main purposes in life?

Equal rights? Lol, I don’t think so. To the maternity ward you will go. But on your way, make sure you become a wife.

Don’t bother striving for your dream career or waiting for Prince Charming, in the real world, this journey is hard and long.

The old timers want you to settle down, that’s the easy way out.

I’ll keep pushing until I prove them wrong.

No disrespect to young mothers and wives. If you like it, then I love it! Just saying, that it’s not for me.

Don’t try to dictate my purpose, I’ll figure it out! But what I’m not is who you want me to be.