Quarter-life Crisis?

 

October 21st 2015

Lately I’ve been blanking out a lot. It’s like my body would be there but my mind would not be present. Ever find yourself sitting at your desk at work or in class and the next thing you know 20 minutes had passed by and you hadn’t made any progress on what you were supposed to be working on. It’s not that you were daydreaming about an oiled up Channing Tatum (a la Magic Mike 😍) or thinking about how awesome that Spiced Pumpkin Latte will be when you can finally grab a cup on your break. So what could’ve kept your mind so preoccupied that you didn’t even remember to peek at your phone for your hourly notification check-up? You probably have 17 messages from that annoying Whatsapp group you’re too scared to exit (no need to seem antisocial, just mute it and try to go on with your life) plus only God knows what’s happening on IG after so much time has passed! For all you know, Beyoncé could have posted one of those cute family shots online and you would’ve missed it. Good luck participating in any upcoming conversations with your peers 😢. You were busy all morning and this was your first opportunity for a mental break and you wasted it staring into space.

You finally snap out of it and the first question you ask yourself is “What the hell am I doing”? No, not in that very moment while you’re reassessing what’s left on your to-do list that day. In the grand scheme of things……what are you doing? Every day you wake up, drive to that job that gives you absolutely no fulfilment and after eight hours, you drive back home and repeat the cycle four more times that week. Luckily you get two days off where you can go grocery shopping, do laundry and sneak in a few much needed cocktails….. happy happy, joy joy. Everything has become so repetitive and mundane, for the most part, you don’t even bother to pay attention to the details anymore. An activity such as driving is simply a necessary part of the routine which enables you to get where you need, when you need. All you know is that you have to sit at no less than four stoplights to make it to your destination. Stoplight #1 provides access for a quick turn for green smoothies and stoplight #4 has the local ice-cream parlour. You leave home and 30 minutes later you’re parking your car and there’s a medium caramel milkshake sitting in your cup-holder. You’re left feeling both confused and guilty as its only at that point, you vaguely remember gathering some change from your coin purse for the impulse purchase. The guilt comes when you think about the calorie intake but who cares about the calories at that point. You’ve already made the purchase and that milkshake is freaking awesome 😋.

These are the small treats you currently live for; high calorie snacks and sales at Forever 21. You’re not living, just drifting on day by day. Find yourself! Do you even know who you are outside of your circle of friends or your significant other? You compromise with social activities and go along with other people’s suggestions as it regards what you should do in your free time. However, what would you choose to do if you had a list of infinite choices and the only opinion that mattered was yours? Where would you go? Let’s take it one step further and ask where would you work, hell, where would you even live? There’s a whole world out there. One of the best parts of being a millennial is that you can choose your own path, live and learn and you’re still young enough to start over and fix past mistakes if needed. That sounds horribly irresponsible when you say it like that but for the most part it’s true. I personally am more than aware of all of this, however, why am I still allowing myself to drift on in this sea of discontent simply because it’s safe? Better safe than sorry, right? Sigh…. Young people problems.